Before i didn’t care.Before i never bothered.Before i was very sure. Before i thought i knew, better.
But then slowly, even with my confidence, it spiraled out of control. Karma i had always believed in, and karma i had ignored. And karma said: it’s time to pay-back.
Its amusing, before, i could not keep it to myself. Under the misconception that sharing increased feeling, i never restrained myself and one and all and i kept my better judgement aside. No one is to blame. It came from the depths of my misunderstandings of the various realities.
Now i know, i know better.
I know how to restrain myself. I know how to not give in to the temptation. I know self – control. Yes, i have been through the hell of utter loss of control and senses, but now i know and the learning heals.
It makes me see, further into the light, it makes me stop before i want to. It takes me a step ahead and it gives me control. I like that i don’t feel like it any longer. I like the recklessness, gone.