If you have been on facebook for as long as I have been, then it goes without saying that off-late your FB as become boring. It is just an addiction, you cannot run-away, when you open your browser, your fingers involuntarily type facebook.com/fb.com and then the notifications of so much of un-important shit, and you sigh and think of deactivating your account. I personally have been thinking of putting up a status : on so-so day let us all deactivate our accounts( and rob zuckerburg of some of our money!)
So while i have been trying to make my everyday trolling more meaningful, i did a few things that you guys could try out too :
Thing 1 – The problem with facebook right now, and probably your newsfeed is that it is over-cluttered with millions of pictures and updates from pages that you once liked, becuase well, back then the idea and the innovation appealed to you, but frankly seeing so many troll faces scroll-by-scroll gives me a headache. The humor is passe and everything that could be commented by “bitch please“, “you don’t say” , ” hell yeah” has been commented thus. “if you know what i mean” .
So go ahead, either just unlike those pages, or if don’t want your loyalty to be questioned/ if its your friends page just hover on the post and “hide all messages by this mfckr”
Don’t do this to Barney’s blog. That is awesome.
Thing 2 – This will take a lot of thing and those idiots working for zuckerburg, probably the ones handling the data made deletion of friends so damn irritable. But nevertheless it is worth the effort. Yes, i am asking you to delete your friends. People you never speak with, have never spoken with, will never speak with, those who have never pinged you, never poked you, never tagged you etc etc….go ahead, delete them. You don’t need them. having 700/800/1000 friends is not cool, until you are Ahmed Hamoui. Exclusive is the new cool. And having more subscribers is better than having a hoard of friends.
Thing 3 – This one is based on the fair assumption that you have a life, and most of your time is spend on commenting on statuses and posts that you have been tagged in, places you were to with you friends, and on how awesome your life is. So then, you have done your bit, by liking this picture and commenting on that happening event, but now you are irritated with the others doing the same and clogging your notifications. Well if you haven’t noticed, the little “unfollow post” button does wonders!
Thing 4 – Putting my assumption aside, this one is for the ones who well don’t have so much happening around them and even for those that do. There are a lot of news sites/pages with happenings all around the world that could benefit from your intelligent comments and what is even better is that similar people like you from all over the globe like and reply to your comments. Pardon my sarcasm, but the discussions sometimes are really worth it, the rest of the times it is just intellectual shit being tossed around!
Thing 5 – This one is if you are extremely bored and want to test how much power an individual can actually have. So I ask you to go ahead and try this. On the numerous profane and vulgar things being shared on our holy grail the facebook in the name of humor, do your bit and “report abuse” the pictures. Or any comment that displeases you, there are actually sickos out there who go *hard* on pictures of naked girls( why are these pictures there on a public forum anyway, what next porn clips being shared, you should remember – zuckerberg still thinks 13 is mature enough to be on FB, well i think 13 is too young to be bombarded with nudity), go ahead report the user. No i am not going to tell you how to do it. What is fun is that these reports are actually effective and the content is taken off with a warning to the user. Go ahead, make FB a cleaner place.
Thing 6 – This one is not for the weak-hearted. If you have it in you, stay away from fb for three days or more. But i must warn you, when you come back, if you are hoping for a lot of notifications, well, sometimes it happens, the other times no one has actually missed you. And if have a bit more in you, de-activate your account and enjoy real social activities for sometime, of course which will religiously be followed up on facebook. De-activation might lead to awkward moments like – hey i no longer see you on fb, whsp( yes but you do see me in office/class everyday bastard!)