Black is his color

Black is his color, but white is his soul
dark are his eyes, and light is their shine.

He speaks of men that have lived,
conquering their souls
and in his subtle manner,
he is conquering his own.

dark,black, light, white.
empty, lost, thought, found.
pain, knowledge,reckless calm
dreamt, hoped, lived, laughed.

They will speak of him in days to come
as the man who was forever lost
dreaming his own world, creating some
but i know the man behind the color
and he thinks before he learns…

Since we are still on poems, i am taking the liberty to add one of mine. 

Why

A lover’s dilemma -

 Why do I think of you?

That which exists between us is nothing. It never was, it never shall be.

I don’t even know you and you hardly know me.

And still… still I feel you deep inside me…your hands on my back, your breath on my neck…your laughter in my ears…

And I don’t even know you.

Why then do I think of you? Why am I thinking of you? Why?

Everyone has their own paranoia and i guess you are mine… 

The cave

It’s empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you’ve left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeatBut I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I’ll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker’s land

So make your siren’s call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it’s meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again

source : online

Promise

And meet me there, bundles of flowers,
We wait through the hours of cold
Winter shall howl at the walls,
Tearing down doors of time.

Shelter as we go…

And promise me this:
You’ll wait for me only,
Scared of the lonely arms.

Surface, far below these words

And maybe, just maybe I’ll come home

Who am I, darling to you?
Who am I?
Gonna tell you stories of mine
Who am I?

Who am I, darling for you?
Who am I?
Gonna be a burden in time, lonely
Who am I, to you?

Who am I, darling for you?
Who am I?
Going to be a burden

Who am I, darling to you?
Who am I?

I come alone here

I just love this song

So you really want to date a nice guy???

I do not have anything against nice men.

Wait. Before we go there, let us be on the same grounds as to what constitutes a nice man. For this please refer to my earlier blog : the pros and cons of being with him : http://iitandtheworld.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/the-pros-and-cons-of-being-with-him-2/

To name a few :

1. Great listener. Will never ask me to shut up or get lost or not listen and i might get tired of yapping, but he will listen, he will call, he will recharge, he will laugh, he will comment, he will be on the other end of the line always.

2. He has a car, will take me shopping, might even pay, will take me out, will let me drink, will drink with me and still behave.

3. He will not look at other girls, will talk to me, tell me everything, make me feel like a queen, i will be the center of his world, all his niceness and morals and good outlook will leave an impression on me and make me change my outlook.

4.Will take me out for walks and look forward to them.

…….

And the list goes on. But the point is nice guys are those who will never break your heart, will always hold you close and etc etc, the Stephan from Vampire Diaries. And well chances are, and if you have been with one you already know that dinners and drinks with a nice guy and nice music, are well boring. Going on walks with nice guys is ahem again boring. Sitting and talking with a nice guy, who will always be supportive and listen to pour your heart out and agree with your opinions on everything, well even that gets monotonous after sometime. I mean , can you always be right?

Of course it does depend on the type of a girl/woman you are. It all comes down to that.

But being born in the 21st century with so much of freedom of thought and choice, do you really want to settle down with someone who agrees with you, or with someone who challenges you?

Do you want to be with somebody who will treat you like a queen irrespective of how you behave or do you want to spend your life with someone who will help you become a queen?

Do you want to lie down in bed with someone who will shy away from making the first thinking of your feelings , whether you want to or not tonight, or do you want to be with someone who will assert his right over you ?

Do you want to be protected or do you want to be with a man who knows you can take care of yourself?

Do you want to be with a nice guy who will change paths when he sees a bunch of rogues on the road just to avoid trouble or do you want to be with a man who will hold your hand and walk tall through them???

Would you settle down for security sans the adventure?

Possessed

Have you ever been possessed?

By someone?

By many people?

By close friends?

By family?

By a love?

It is all very interesting the way certain people in your life, express their “right” over you. It is almost like they own you and your life and every little thing that you do, they should know and that it way maybe how they feel important, or maybe it is their care for you, or maybe this is the way they think , or feel loved back by you.

Parents i do understand, and the way they love their kids so selflessly and so selfishly, parents do have a right over you and your life. And if you have sensible parents, after you have grown a certain age they never proclaim this right loudly and usually let you do what you want to. Because in the end all they want is for you to be happy. And even if you don’t do what they think is right( which they usually are, with all that experience on their side), as long as you are happy they are happy. Parents i understand, and as i have aged, and now that I have been loving alone for a long time I do realize their right and I have no qualms in submitting to it. So if my mother wants to know what I did the entire day, I take out 15 minutes out of my fucked up schedule and pour my heart out. Though I hate to admit it, I think i do it more for myself than for her, though I would like to believe that I am making her happy, but in the end it is me who is so happy after pouring my heart out and seeing that someone cares for me so much, and thinks I am so special that they are interested in everything that is going on in my life. I love you ma, I love you pa. . It is a circle, you feel wanted and then you want more.

It is the same with my friends, bitches of the first grade, like they own me. Good friends don’t pass judgments, but mine are so reckless and rude, for anything that I do, and if it is something stupid they will not say sweet things to please me , but usually blast their way off laughing at me. And that helps, it lightens my mood and then I do think it is really not that much of a big deal. Friends I even like, because they know what I like and if they come to know about anything, they let me know. Such nice girlfriends and a few guy friends, I am really very lucky to have. Touch wood. Bitches.

Love, where do I even begin? Combine the above two and raise it to  a  googol. If there is one person beyond my family and my friends who is as much as my family and my friend…. <3

 

i guess it is love when…

i guess love is when you talk and talk and talk so much, so senselessly and when you see the other person you are suddenly filled with energy and all you can do is yap yap yap…

this happens to me all the time, no matter how tired i am, how much i want to sleep, how much i will tell him no don’t come lets meet like normal people for a coffee in the day, and he will be like, just come..and then i drag myself out of my room and then when i see him, something supernatural happens and i start jumping around, laughing, talking and talking and simply being so happy and i feel like a kid and he feels like my best friend..

 

silence

its the silence that is magical, when you are just holding my hand walking and when we don’t even have to talk or there isn’t even the need to say a word. The rain makes the silence more comforting, you are there and so is the peace and in the silence i can listen to the rain and smile at you and you smile back, and the silence envelopes us and it is just beautiful.

It is in the silence, when i look into your eyes and they speak to me. Yes there have been times when your eyes have screamed and there have been times when your eyes have just smiled, and i know that look and in complete silence my eyes speak back to you and you smile silently.

Peace that is what I have known and peace is what i give you. It gets weird sometimes, but then the silence and the peace they have been our guardians and they have protected us from our own talking and misdoings. Peace in the silence, listening to your heart beat and knowing that this is the purest sound i am hearing. Knowing in the silence, that your heart beats and only i can hear it.

purity

and as the purity of your washes over me, i realize where my thoughts stalled and why they did, and no matter how  temporary this peace of mind is it is the purity which is making things clear and it is that is altering me and cliched though the saying is that fire just purifies gold better, that is what this purity is …

[ and this is why i wanted those messages, but your stupid phone, both your stupid phones]

I read…

dear diary, 

I read it again and again and like I have decided I will stop bothering you and put on a strong face and say that everything is okay, but i read it from last night again and again and all those words you said, with their heavy meaning I want to believe, but there has been a loss of trust and I do not know what to believe in any longer.

My love for you is as unquestionable as yours is for me. And history has been a cruel teacher.

I write because i cannot fight any longer. And despite being the believer in fairy tales that  I always was, though I do not believe in cliches, I had believed in you, I still do, it is just that my faith in myself has been shaken and I do not know what to do.

I just want to smile again and feel again. I just want to be happy and relaxed and have a boring monotonous life and though it is better now, I just wish we had never ever lost our purity and innocence. I was a fool. A proud arrogant fool. And look how pride goes before the fall!

I just want to let go and be happy. I do not know who I am any longer. Today was very peaceful and empty and I think eventually the emptiness will lead to a reformation of thoughts, something which is badly needed at the moment. I just wish I had somebody who cared, as deeply as she did for you, now, I wish had somebody.